From Bachleorhood To Ya Ya Sisterhood

Birthday Boy - Vishnu Kaura

2008-11-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

Most of you guys who happen to read this nearly dead blog might not know Vishnu but to cut through the clutter - He's my college buddy - my uncle's son - closer to me than other bums but we fought like cats and dogs in college. Of course I was the bitch.

Anyway its his 27'th Birthday today - 27 years of splendid living without any guilt on this planet. Hence I'm writing this post to commemorate his birthday by writing 27 things about Vishnu (not necessarily in any order)
1) Lucky Kabootar Night - Vishnu high on pot showing his erectomoto to some Mr Singh.
2) Red Streaks in the hair
3) Do gays pierce left or right eyebrow? - Too long a tale to tell but he got both of his eyebrows pierced because he was not sure whether gays belong to the left or right party
4) Woman # 1 - Too personal to mention in front of u gossip mongers
5) Woman # 2 - Too personal to mention in front of u gossip mongers
6) Traveling with the Nani
7) Riding simran - what a bitch !
8) Hanuman Mandir - Tilankhedi - Those sumptuous samoosas and bakarwadi
9) The afternoon in the bushes - Too personal to mention in front of u gossip mongers
10) The tale of the hairy ass - lower ur pants spread the hair
11) Sheikh mehboob joke
12) The saga of fungus striken laddoos
13) Kaho na pyar hai misadventure in first year
14) Curries and rolls at Top in Town
15) Sleeping with our teddy - Suri
16) Valentine day bout with Akhil Suri
17) Those awesome morning rides to the tuition with Vishnu hiding behind me sleeping
18) Bribing 4'th yr college prof with Indian sweets
19) The broken bed of first year
20) The untimely visit by pappi bhaiya with his teenage daughter to a boys hostel
21) Having babies in 4'th year - I even forgot that guy's name now
22) Sundhi Sir - The ass which got shaped by Vishnu. Kudos
23) His effing long trips to the kebab factory in the hostel
24) Mehra the illegitimate kid who was also a kota spy
25) Days of Vishnu pumping iron in the college
26) Baby sitting Udai
27) Vishnu the Mirchi seth or Vishnu the Miranda or Vishnu the challi wala

Happy Birthday Man

A review of Social Media in 2008

2008-08-27T10:17:00.001-07:00

A review of Social Media in 2008

Posted using ShareThis

Making of the Spiderman

2008-06-22T18:48:00.001-07:00

Some things worth mentioning:-
1) While standing in the line to get his face painted. Lil Jasraj saw some other kid get a Spiderman and starting crying saying that 'Its his Spiderman' :-)
2) After getting the face done. He refused to be recognize his name but yes call him Spiderman and he'll listen

Experiments !!

2008-06-22T16:53:00.001-07:00

Some of the pictures played around with over the weekend

Movie Review - The Incredible Hulk

2008-06-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

Crazy Insane Roars by Edward Norton kept up waking Aastha as and when she dozed off over my shoulder to add on to this were the great effects...water dripping down angry Bruce's face...his nerves all tensed up and popping. Beautiful Liv Tyler and great action scenes on the younge st in front of Zanzi Bar.

Obviously the movie is miles away from reality. Military hammering bullets in colleges and streets. Generals putting 'Hulk mode' inducing serum or semen call it whatever you would it in dingy medical rooms behind a curtain to willing soldier. In the end capitalizing on the Iron Man success the director bought in Robert Downey Jr of the Stark Industries fame to team with the Hulk to lay the foundation for the sequel.

Haven't seen the first Hulk but definitely you won't miss anything if you don't go.

Jas./

Movie Review - Sarkar Raj

2008-06-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

Reasons to watch sarkar raj
1) Sarkar the first part was amazing
2) The director Ram Gopal Verma is known to give great cinematography
3) The Father, The Son and the Daughter in Law from the bachan family are great actors

and fuck yes they bring in a great performance. Sarkar Raj can be compared to the God Father series but its way better. All credit to amazing cinematography, background score and dialogs like 'Killing some one is a crime. Killing some one at the right time is Politics'

Amitabh at his usual - getting himself completely in the role of subash nagre. Abhishek looking amazing in his prim and proper suits and the stuble. Aishwarya and yeah the fat stones in her ears. The story line is good not great. Had it been Amitabh who would have hit the sack then it would have been a regular OOB story line but yes with Abhishek passing out makes the whole movie more interesting in an aging man's coming back to controlling his empire. The movie starts on with depicting the whole power struggle between the father and son so the end becomes all the more interesting.

Verdict: The movie's worth a watch on the big screen.

Row Bitches !!

2008-06-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

Once you get married you start to do couple sports. Sports like Rowing which seem so easy standing at the deck with the beer in you hand. In reality its a different story.

Aastha and me started rowing 4-5 weeks back once a week along with some people from office. We are practicing for the competition next weekend - June 14'th. Grueling sport wrecks a havoc on ur back and ass muscles. You need to wear special hard bottomed rowing shorts like these
I would not deny it - we suck at it. Lack of timing..lack of participation from the group..lack of stamina. Call it we have it. :-( The only good thing which I now have to boast about are the manly blisters on my hands I get every week.

The cool thing about rowing is that one person gets to be the coaxie who steers the boat while other people row. The coaxie also gets to shout(urge) the team to row faster blah blah. This is the only place where I'm going to submit my suggestion for the war cry which I find very cool

'ROW BITCHES !!'

Zas./

Apple On Newton's Head

2008-04-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

Took a day off from sitting in the Office and decided to WFH and as I was casually sipping my last bottle of leffe it stuck me what my profile says "This is my story, Ass Kicking and All".

Now the leffe is done and I feel that though I have successfully kicked many puppy and wise asses into shape and into place I have started to wonder if nature has started its restoration process. I'm in a state where its a deadlock.

My foot finding the exact soft spot just happens to be my ass only.
Zapped~

For Those Who Want to Write

2008-04-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

Quite a number of people have expressed their dilemma - How to continue to blog constantly. Know some folks whom i regard as interesting who stated blogs have the right bend of mind but did not continue carrying it on for long. 3 posts and the whole charm about writing fizzles off. On the other hand i know people like Winnie, Chris etc who have continued with this habit with ease.

Stumbled across this great link which goes like 101 Resources for Creative Minds and its worth sharing. Read it if you think that your Grey cells are thinning.

Disclaimer: This post comes after this. Highly recommended in company of like minds.

11 - Any Takers?

2008-04-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

If you love fooseball or table football - You would fall in love with this.
This is like the Apple of foose ball

Day Dreaming Early In The Day

2008-03-14T06:53:00.000-07:00

Not sure if i have mentioned this particular interest of mine before but here it is anyway.

Biking has always been something which i have found very interesting - maybe its the ads or the campaigns or the i-don't-give-a-damn attitude or maybe the girls featured along with which made make me feel that biking should be in 'Things to Do Before I Die'.

Interestingly i have never owned a bike - never have ridden it too to actually look back and say that i have had a lot of numb ass experiences . The only thing closest to that experience is when Az goes mad but that numbs me all over.

Again and again over the last 2 years whenever i have had the qualms about 'What-Am-Doing-In-My-Life' i go to a couple of sites like xbhp or the Unmistakable Beat and day dream about riding through the rockies or the alps or to Leh-Ladakh and living it fully.

Though i know that biking runs in the blood line till a generation before mine. My father actually drove all the way from Delhi to Kashmir on a rajdoot. That really means a lot to me.

Lets hope the biker in me also rises ans shines one day. Till then I'm proudly going to stick to my day dreaming and go on for great mesmerizing rides.

Vroom Vroom

Nouveau Wife, Nouveau Country, Nouveau Apartment, Nouveau Project, Nouveau Everything ..

2008-03-04T14:28:00.000-08:00

Every thing's Nouveau and i mean everything. Wife, Country, Project, Apartment even getting a snow storm in March is new to me. I'm going crazy rather insane.

Me not putting up a post for all these days is also new to me. (this is getting too much)

Landed here last week and since then life's been so crazy. Though I'm still not doing anything but there's so much of information to process that I'm lost. Lost like a baby in the crowd.

Initial Reaction: Turn around and go back
Final Decision: Stick along and have fun

Nouveau Me./

45 Days Since Qobul (Not Kabul) :-(

2008-02-12T11:27:00.001-08:00

Been 45 days
thats - 3 fortnights - 1 vacation - 1 man wasted - 1 sorry ass (lol) - 1 happy woman.

Need i say more ...

P.S: This piece of work is purely meant to entertain you

18 Days To Qobul (not Kabul) :-)

2007-12-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

So its 18 days for us to say 'Qobul'. We had the kick start function on my side last sunday. Called as the path (pronounced as paa-aa-th). Basically which involves the family getting together and offering prayers to almighty. Reciting a a specific verse called 'Sukhmani Sahib'. Followed by langar. Got to meet all my aunts, uncles and cousins. Followed by some Bhangra.
After the path we start to distribute marriage invites in the family by going to everyone's house and giving them a box of sweets along with the card. This whole affair should take 4-5 days and then its Balle-Balle.

Goodness!! Gracious!! Great Balls On Fire!!

2007-12-10T19:01:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my paranoia. Welcome to goosebumps. Maybe its the Aaz-o-phobia (Fear of aastha) or Gamophobia (Fear of Marriage). Its out there and its started to divulge itself.

Today morning during my morning tete-a-tete cup of tea with my family. Spilled a cup of steaming hot tea on myself (lower half of the body). Bringing me so closer to the exact feeling of being violated by heat. I was jumping out of my cosy bed in a minute. Freaking whole thigh is red now.

~Adios./

Move to Delhi, Marriage, Dilbert and Other Less Important Things Like Work

2007-12-07T03:16:00.000-08:00

Finally back in Delhi. After nearly 2 yrs of traveling. Everyone brings home something guess what did i get - A Wife !! To write this line took 2 weeks of thinking - lol

Does it feel good to be back home?? Hell Yes when there's yum food to eat every day, when there's comfort, when there's no work (unfortunately this lasts for only some jiffies). Back in Delhi - Back to where it all started. With only 2 weeks left to go before i tie the K-N-O-T - my days go by in running from one point to other ferrying relatives who are more excited about my marriage then myself. After all for them its a spectacle.

Vacations start end of December eating the whole of January. Joining back to earn money money a.k.a peanuts February 2008.

Bought Dilbert and the Joy of Work some time back - got time to read it now and introspect and you my friend - Yes you !! - The one who is reading this post is for sure missing something serious if you are not able to feel that you are surrounded by Dilbert character's at work. For some reason I'm contemplating proposing a ban on Dilbert as the more i introspect i feel an uncanny resemblance in my world. Enuf - before i shove my foot deep into my own mouth.

Finally got my cervical issue resolved. The diagnosis - lot of stress actually coagulated the muscles in my cervical area for which a dose of mild anti depressants had to be administered along with drinks, gifts, women - just to give me a stress free life. I'm still skeptical abt the last part.

Few key people would be mailed the invites in the coming week. I you for some reason do not see the invite in your mailbox should understand that you did seriously piss me off after all at some point or the other. lol

I shall keep you updated with my meandering experiences of matrimonial bliss or blasts from time to time.

Sayonara.

Tales Right Off The Pot

2007-10-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Lately i have started to take my book on to the pot(office included).

The most funny thing happened today as i was always thinking that being too engrossed into the book would certainly put me in a fix some day or the other and i guess today was the day. My fears all the time were mainly around no toilet paper and stuff.

Today like in all management dilemmas where the strongest resource turns to be an issue the toilets here have in addition to the toilet paper have a water jet kind of thing which fuses the western pot with Indian fixes. I'm like all into the book and did not know that the stupid nozzle is not pointing where it should and i pressed it and swoosh all of my shoulder is dripping with water and I'm thinking that if someone sees me now they would know that something is not right but then I'm like lets just see if someone says anything....

Its been 20 mins since and no one has noticed so i guess embarrassment has been saved :-)

Of Reading and Transporting Pets Via Air

2007-10-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

Finally I've been able to break the 5 month old curse of 'No-Book-Getting-Completed' by finally wrapping up Maximum City by Suketu Mehta. Great read abt Mumbai from dons to damsels. All rolled up in a great narrative note. Also I'm already halfway through the next one - Diplomatic Baggage - Adventures of a Trailing Spouse By Brigid Keenan. The most interesting book belonging to the 'ya-ya' sisterhood clan. Must read for all feminist women. period.

Last Friday was the closet which i ever got to acknowledging my paternal emotions. Though it happened to be towards my lil canine 'Chai' who over the period of her entire association with me has seen enough tragedies, the latest one to be chaptered as 'Tales from behind the Cage In the Cargo'.

To be very truthful i was always uncertain about transporting 'Chai' to Delhi with us as between Aastha and myself we were always in the cloud about how would she be managed !! However much to Aastha's persistence we finally took her to the airport to be taken to Delhi abode the flight IC-404 Indian Airlines. Aastha was already traveling full baggage so the plan was for me to go light so that we can handle chai easily.

Turns out that she is too big in size to be allowed in the cabin though i'm sure i could have proven to the airline staff that she has the brain of a month old pup. Nevertheless we got at the airport and we loaded her into the cage and she's all calm for full 5 mins after which she first started to howl a lil and then started to bang herself against the door and then came the door of the cage out on the floor. The lil rut was successful in dismantling the cage for which i paid 1800 INR in 5 mins.

Some way or the other we kept her calm by giving her oranges and apples which aastha bought from the guest house. So I'm in the line with the 11 kg box on the trolley in front of me and suddenly the lil freak jumps out of the box and makes a dash for the floor and i'm like WTF !! and in no time i'm on the floor of the airport trying to console her that its ok and she's like more eager to see 20,000 2 legged animals staring down at her. Again she goes in !!

Finally i go through the big queue for the security checkin to realize that the cop on duty asked me to go and stand in the wrong line and there blew the steam off and i'm WTF !! WTF - jackass and he's scared of me and i go and meet the duty manager for Indian Airlines who politely tells me that the dog cannot go into the cabin. So i go and get a EBT paying a whopping 4K which is same as to what my ticket costs. All done i get the cage on the conveyor belt and take a breath of satisfaction. Please note all this while I was cussing Aastha for why do we need do to go through this? and acknowledging at the same time that she has no clue as to what's happening with her dog all this time.

I jump conveyor belts to get ahead in the queue and clear security ;-) (Talk about process compliance) meet aastha and was just chat chatting when suddenly my worse fears come true. A guy holding a walkie talkie approaching me furiously and I'm thinking no this can't be real - "Chai jumped out of the Cage and is running free on the airport" and thats exactly what happened and the next moment I'm running out of the security hold area with the walkie talkie guy to the cargo area and the guys are looking at me and I'm waiting for Chai to come out running from the conveyor belt tunnel towards me. I wait for 5 mins and i see a cop coming out holding the cage his face gleaming with pride that he has been able to cage Dr. Evil.

Again i get down get Chai who was already going berserk out of the cage and then use a rope to secure the cage properly, put her back in and tape the cage now but by that time i was done trusting anyone with the cage so i told the walkie talkie guy that i want to go with the cargo guys and put her myself in the cargo area and he's like no and I'm like no...finally he agreed to let me pass through to the cargo area of the plane (This is what is cool about India. Rules can be bent if not broken for people like me). Took Chai to the area and finally left her at the point where the manager himself took responsibility about ensuring that the cage would be put in the right area. Funny enough he also mentioned - 'We don't want the pet to stay here as it has caused enough trouble' :-)

I got in after i thanked the guys there and again got out to board the plane. Ate so much tamarind sweets that my tooth started to ache and mentally prepared myself for what to do once the flight landed. All this time aastha and me are discussing if she would be able to make it through the flight.

The flight landed i jump out to go and talk to the cargo guys that i want my pet with me and he's like no cannot take her and I'm like Yes I'm !! and i go and wait for the baggage to arrive at the conveyor belt area again. The cage was bought on top of all the other bags in a trolley. Looking at it from a distance i felt so full of remorse that for my personal happiness i had subjected the poor thing through a terrible ordeal. So i again argue my way to take the cage with me from outside n not pick it off the belt and Chai no surely pissed off by the whole episode starts to cry hysterically to be let out of the cage which we did inside the airport and she's all jumping around wanting to just get away from all 2 legged animals staring at her.

Jas./

The Latest High !!

2007-10-14T00:57:00.000-07:00

Both Aaz and Myself have drowned ourselves in love of the stupid box called TV. Over the last 6 weeks we now have watched around 100 hrs of movies and serials. That comes to abt 2.3 hrs everyday. Now look at some other dimensions - We have successfully delivered 2 complete iterations over this period which means late nights in office at least 2-3 times a week thus in effect watching 2 hrs of movies even after coming late.

So strong has been the addiction that i have started to have neck pain which comes in when you watch a lot of TV lying down. I agree that its manic behavior but it was worth it, the effect has been very profound on baby Chai too as she stays up all night and then sleeps in the morning.

Jas./

Things to Remember When Transporting a Dog By Air

2007-10-09T07:42:00.001-07:00

If you are in India and love pets more than humans like i do then probably this article makes sense for you

1) Most of the so called good airlines do not have a pet relocation policy namely Kingfisher, Sahara, Deccan etc

2) The only 2 airlines which allow for transfer of pets via air are Jet Airways and Indian Airlines.

3) You need to call up the cargo office for Jet 2 days before the flight so that they can make the arrangements (Since ur pet is going to be a blue whale which needs the cargo hold up area to be empty and also the airline can stop flying people in the cargo)

4) Get a wooden box for the pet as a fiber cage is not appropriate for air travel. This pisses me off the most as the vet suggests a fibre cage but the box as per the airline would become toxic in air - what a Jack Ass - Now i need to search a carpenter to make a wooden box for Chai

5) Ensure that you are carrying the necessary vaccination records for the Dog who knows your puppy named Einstein might get out of the wooden box and bite the whale which the co passenger is transporting

6) The best part is the freight charges - This is how i was told abt it -
For Delhi it would be 76.05 * 2 * (Weight of the Dog or dimensions of the box which ever is larger) + 60 + 12.36 % = I'm still trying to figure out the math behind this.

God Damn this airline seriously. I'm going to find out with Indian Airlines tonight as to whether they give me a better deal.

The Civil Disobediance Act of 2007 for Dogs

2007-10-09T03:53:00.000-07:00

Lady Chai has just announced the Civil Disobedience Act of 2007 for Dogs which prohibits any kind of questioning any dog especially Lady Chai about anything. The act once implemented would mean that:-
1) It is a dog's birth right to creep up slowly from behind anyone and scare the shit out of anyone.
2) Its my bed and my pillow. period.
3) Meals shall only be strictly non vegetarian any attempts on the part of the owner to feed a vegetarian meal to the canine shall be against the religious beliefs of the dog community.
4) All items of daily use even the personal ones have to pass through my mouth.
5) No relieving myself in public places. I shall poop and pee only in my home. Italian marble is appreciated.
6) Dare not leash me i shall ensure that the decibel level in your proximity double every 10 sec leading to utter chaos in your mind.
7) Dare not call me a Bitch I'm a Dawg.
8) Your discipline is not worthy of me hence do not even try that.

P.S: In case you disagree with any of the points mentioned above just shut up and spare me the noise.

With love
Lady Chai

Shite's Over

2007-09-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

Finally wrapped up all the shite called as Iteration 2 a.k.a I2. First track leading experience for a development track was surely enriching and irritating. From bugs flying all over the place to people stepping up to deliver awesome hacks . The last month has bought so much learning that all the time before that when i used to wonder as to what a track lead really does. Its a freaking neck break job for sure.

Haaw !!

2007-09-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

Saw this kid outside a mall on commercial street. She surely did not like me invading her privacy

Another One Bites The Dust

2007-09-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

And this time its me the last one month has been so much learning (please read learning as pain), Moving across track across different roles from an Infra Track Lead to a Development Track Lead being exposed to like 100 processes each of which are in there state of infancy.

My current state of mind can be best expressed via this couplet:-

Daddy said pay heed, humans being should see above caste and creed
Daddy said pay heed, Always keep a tap on your greed
Daddy said pay heed, a knife can make u bleed
Daddy said pay heed, Always do good deeds coz if you don't they might make u the 'Development Track Lead'

Zapped./

Chai's First Victim

2007-08-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

If you would have gone through my previous post you would have realized that i was pretty effed up due to my long hours and was for sure wanting to get even with the source of all these long hours. I gave it good thought and zeroed down on Sweta - My Arch.
So i started planning as to how can i get even ..i thought ..i thought n then i made a plan that i had to inflict pain to my arch.

So this Saturday morning i called up my arch and told her that I'm going to leave chai at her place and she was like very excited so i left her and i waited..waited..waited..and then the phone rang

[A Man's Voice] - Hey Jaspal, Ragz Here
[Jaspal] - Hey man how r u doing?
[A Man's Voice] - Wanted to know if Chai has got her anti rabies shot?
[Jaspal] - *Spark in my eyes - Yes she is
[A Man's Voice] - Ooh Ok Cool - Chai has bit Sweta
[Jaspal] - *Concerned - Ooh shit - u r not kidding??
[A Man's Voice] - I'm not Chai did bit her !!
[Jaspal] - Ooh how is Sweta now? *Smiles
[A Man's Voice] - She's ok just a small punture
[Jaspal] - *Lowers the smile - Ooh ok. Thank God [artifical one]
[A Man's Voice] - Just wanted to ensure about the vaccinations
[Jaspal] -* to not let go of the chance - Ragz Is Sweta vaccinated?
[A Man's Voice] - Yes don't worry
[Jaspal] - Cool. Ttyl later !!
[Jaspal] - *says to himself - 'At least she knows what it feels like now !!'

Yes people i have been able to successfully pull out an attempt on my arch's life. Its me. If you want to
Why i did it? Coz 'I can'
How did i do it? - this is where like the bard says 'Lies the Rub!!'

Disclaimer: The last stance has been influenced from 'Inside Man' the movie

Calm within Insanity Inc

2007-08-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

The last 2 weeks have been a testament to the well known well bitched paradigm of software industry. Appearing more like some arbid influence of crashing of Dow Jones. I have seen like utter insanity setting in at work.
- Whatever could go wrong went wrong.
- Whatever was supposedly right was not needed.
- Whatever is the industry best practice that does not bind to us and

In the midst of all this i was sitting on the Infrastructure track which i think is like the backstage pass to a RHCP show where Keidies who is giving the most awesome kick ass show of his life on the stage and professing how he does not like loud music backstage.

Infra Track give you the luxury to be the spectator to the fight of the dogs in the development track. Have tracked more than 70 hrs already for this week but I'm still going strong

Like my director says :-) :-( [Happy Sad]

Here goes my Last Independence Day

2007-08-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Here goes my last independence day the first half of which was wasted in trying to find a decent place to have continental breakfast. Landed at a place which had shifted to a new location. Walked all the way to the new location only to find out that we are the only ones there. Ordered chicken sausages and for sausage pakora's and that was like the highlight of the day for me. Apparently the place has been open since 1930 and i cannot believe that its still not closed down.

Went to another place right after that to have some meaningful food. This place called Kochi's is again a very old joint which served food to the queen of england and stuff. Anyway the place was good..the kinds where you can go for breakfast and then stay all the way for lunch.

Came back slept like a log...woke up went for a walk...the evening passed away with my wimper as i celebrated my last independence day like a slave doing office work crying.

Vande Mataram

2007-08-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

I guess the only day which fills me with sheer ecstasy is when I'm able to wake up on time to watch the prime minister of India hoist the national flag at the Red Fort and yes today I'm a happy man. Today India celebrates its 60 years of Independence.

Jai Hind./

My 100'th Post..

2007-08-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Chai Times

2007-07-25T04:27:00.000-07:00

Some one just suggested that we should have a weekly bulletin on Chai. Here's it

Surprisingly against our initial vows which were
1) No entry in the room
2) No coming on the bed
3) No ill manners like barking etc

The lil motor mouth has gone through aggressive promotions to actually share my pillow. Calls out highly of my will power against her cute cries. I call her lil motor mouth because she tries to take everything in her mouth from slippers, socks, wall edges, clothes, dustbins, bottles, balls, tooth brushes and her chew sticks. She suffers from acute 'SAS' - short attention span disorder.

She actually has grown because she's able to reach the table top standing on her hind legs. Here's a pic.

Eating habit wise i hate to say this but she's perpetually hungry but not fussy at all eats everything from fruits (loves mango and papayas), is crazy about boiled eggs, Chicken soup.
She actually starts to cry out loud if you are having egg or chicken and not giving it to her. This thing ticks me off so much that...aaah

We introduced her to vodka(Credit goes to aastha) and beer(credit goes to Goutam). She's a quick learner. I introduced her to Tea and she gladly had it. Incase you have any insight abt dogs and drinks please pass on the advice :-)

Apart from that she still pisses and poops where she wants too. Planning to start her potty training in few weeks from now. Look out for this space another 2 weeks for more updates.

Kingfisher Airlines - Customer Experience

2007-07-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

Dude if ya hommies wanna see some ass travel kingfisha; There's no way ya can keep ya eyes off the booty doing her duty

Yes this post can be seen as an advice ejaculated rather dispensed by a committed man to all you single men(you lucky bastards) - "I still Hate Ya"

Try
{
if (Hommie == Single)
{
Fly Kingfisher;
}
Else
if (Hommie == Committed)
{
Fly any other airlines;
}
}
catch(Apparatus does not work)
{
Throw (get appointment with sexologist);
}
catch(Hommie is ACDC)
{
S.O.P "Its a free world";
}

Disclaimer: I might be committed but i'm not dead.

She's Mine no She's Mine

2007-07-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

You would hear this about women about children about materialistic things like cars and crap. Ever heard that 2 set of people are fighting over a dog?????

So here's the deal. Everyone of you hommies know that Aastha and me took over to care for 'Chai'. Lil did i know that the house keeping guys (Max and Hoppu) didn't quite like the idea of us taking over a pup who is freaking adorable. It was like we were keeping 'Chai' in our house at night and these guys got to spend time with her over the day time while we were gone to the office. So trouble started brewing when Aastha and me went to Delhi over the weekend and we asked Sweta to take care of 'Chai' which she gladly did (I'm thankful to her for the same).

I think this ticked off the house keeping guys and they started to devise a way to send 'Chai' away. I was completely unaware of their intentions. Its like i agree that they bought the pup but its us who are taking care of her and I like 'Chai' a lot. She's freaking adorable.

I came back from Delhi last night and i saw 'Chai' caged and took her up to my room and made her sleep there. While going to the office today morning i left her with these guys and went off. Lil did i know that i had really pissed them off last night. So when i came back from the office today i asked as usual - 'Where's Chai?' and then the security guard says that Max has taken Chai with him and he has gone on vacations !! and i'm like WTF!!

So i get all irritated and i go up and i break the news to Az and then Az is like WT(Holy)F!!
Anyway i don't give much thought to this all telling myself that Max owns the dog and yada yada but then i don't deny i felt shitty because i wanted 'Chai' to be here. (Girls see i got emotions too)

So i order the cook 'Biswajit' (The Good man) to make Tea(Chai) for me (Not that he and me can 'make' Chai) but Tea which we drink. So he comes and tells me the whole story in detail that these guys always wanted to take 'Chai' but the proprietor of the guest house was not letting them do so and then he tells me that he thinks that Max has given Chai to some kid in the same lane in which we live and this thing ticks me off because first thing that 'Sob' lied to me secondly 'Chai' was just 2 doors away from my place but he's not sure of the house.

So i got ready took Biswajit (The good man) with me and went to see if 'Chai' really was there. We tried one house and some maddy uncle(South Indian) comes out and makes a face like I'm a untouchable (At times 'some' maddies drive me mad). I felt bad like my spirits went low but then Biswajit suggested that we try another house so both of us go up some dark stairs n knock and again knock.

The door opens and i see a kid (i think he would be 13 or maybe less) and i see a drawing room all cluttered with newspaper so i asked the kid. 'Do you have a small pup?' He says 'Yes' then i asked him - ' Did Max give it to you?' and he says 'Yes' and then i explained her the whole story about who bought the dog originally and what happened and who ultimately started to take care of the dog. He heard me very calmly and then her elder sister comes into the room and then i explain her also the story. She hears me calmly too and then says 'Ok you can take the dog'.

Then the kid comes with me to play with 'Chai' at my guest house and then her sister comes with her to play with 'Chai'. I entertained them and talked to the sister for a while. The bro was surely keen about fiddling with my laptop and opening stuff and sister is asking me questions.

All this while they were in the house i kept the freaking door open so that everyone sees that they are in. Last thing i know i get framed for sexual molestation. I would not like that. So the kids went home and i went with them to talk to their mother who unfortunately as per them was sleeping. Came back called the proprietor and told him that i didn't want to see those guys around and after getting his assurances bought 'Chai' up who i now on the couch with her head pushed into my arm hole sleeping.

Note: This post might be used as a alibi in case legal issues crop up about the ownership of 'Chai' and for all you know i might end up on national TV. Anything is possible.

Signs

2007-07-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

Signs - A collection of signs which i find funny.

Candles - My First Experiment with Aperture and Shutter Priority Modes

2007-07-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Flower Power

2007-07-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

The pics come from the garden in the guest house. I do not know the name of the flowers. The pink one is my favourite here.

Ladies and Gentlemen Presenting 'Chai'

2007-07-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

I'll be very truthful here. This is no devious scheme of mine.

The house keeping guys bought a roadesian for 150 Rs to the guest house. Just that Mex(The house keeping guy) took this new project quite like his job and starting giving her a bath on a daily basis. He took it over the top when he actually sprayed an insectiside on her to kill the lice and ticks which the pup contracted. Lol - thats the most funny thing which i could have ever imagined to do to a dog.

The poor thing was trembling as if some one put her inside a giant bell and rang it too. hehehehe

Anyway she's now under my patronage and She's been named 'Chai'.

Papa Roach

2007-06-27T22:16:00.000-07:00

Papa roach was caught unaware by the beastly Jas to be photographed and then let off after some satisfying shots. Unfortunately i was not able to get any good shots for the papa roach's underside.

Jas./

U Single Men!

2007-06-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

Seldom do i feel the need to crib a.k.a bitch about anything but today i happened to talk to a friend of mine and he's like talking all yada yada things like we should get together sometime to drink and eye some dames and I'm like trying to be polite and saying that i would be busy with work.

Just then the bugger drops the line - 'Are you really busy or is it just your gf?' and I'm like thinking dude! - Is the guy making a point here? but then my superior consulting skills worked their magic and i started writing this blog entry. The point is

I'm a grown up now you might feel like reading it as that 'I'm domesticated now' :-) You single men would never realize this. When a man have lived through the challenges of bachelor life he rises to the new peaks to prove his mettle. So even though i might be missing the buns which you can happily yap about I'm prepping myself for the ultimate test of human endurance called "Marriage"

This is my first attempt to shove a boot in your face. U single men!

(Damn you lucky bastards)

Some Recent Endevours

2007-06-23T00:16:00.000-07:00

Temple Bell

Heart Shaped Box

The Truck

Bald and The Bullet

Betel Leaves

The Original

Photoshoped

Kiran Desai - The Inheritance of Loss

The 'Hash'

Tender Curls

Gun Hole

Az and the Mask

Flower Power

Pigeon Tale

2007-06-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

This unexpected visitor came home this weekend.

Macro Madness

2007-06-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

The Burner

The Burner(Gray Scale)

The Kind of Good Times

The Fallen King 1

The King Photoshoped

The Fallen King 2

My Latest Work

2007-06-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

Guys i love hospitals. Everyone over there is so funny. So i had to go to the OPD yesterday to have the ortho's opinion about my ankle which was hurting me for the last 2 weeks. So i go and sit in the waiting room where i see this woman having expressions as if she's having an orgasm. lol. She was on the massaging chair and man it looked that she was in heaven.

So the doctor calls me and sends me off to get an x-ray for my ankle. Here it what it looks like

Diagnosis: The bones are good but some fibers of the ligament around my ankle have been torn and have not healed till now.

Cure: Physiotherapy, Medication, Hot-Cold treatment
Do Not's: No jogging or walking long distances, No lifting heavy weights, No Squatting

What did i do: Came home had a beer and made some spicy chicken masala and I think I'm going to stick to it.

My 'Hello World' Pictures

2007-06-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

Posting the first set of pictures taken by me over a visit to Jaipur. The camera was a borrowed Nikon cool pix(don't remember the model). Thanks to Parul for lending me the camera.

The Passage

Temple where the sacrifice was made to please the rain gods

Pillar @ Amer Fort where the king used to hold his court

Outer periphery of the Jaigarh Fort

Model: Goutam Malpe

I still have not come a long way since than. Its been 1.5 years and the fort still stands, Goutam still laughs, Parul is still willing to lend me her camera.

An Unfinished Life Of Unfinished Books

2007-06-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

I think i would hold the biggest record for 'reading and then leaving in between' any book. My best performance being with 'The Brief History Of Time' which i picked up a record 9 times during the course of 3 years in my college and it still remains unfinished. My super power was quite challenged over the course of last year where i was unsuccessful through and through as i picked up 18 books and completed them. :-(

However 2007 - the year of the Pig has rejuvenated the mutant genes once again and I'm again on the winning spree of having 4 incomplete books in the last 2 months. Started with 'Lolita' By Vladimir Nabokov moved to 'Talking Straight' by Lee Iacocca then to 'Disclosure' by Michael Crichton to 'Unbearable Lightness of Being' By Milan Kundera to the latest initiative being '100 years of solitude' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez which i feel is a one night stand only and nothing else.

I'm sure that I'm going to take it over the top this time and come out as the unparalleled winner among ass holes including you. lol

OK!! now enough sarcasm, enough negativity the bitch in me would die if i do not stop this business of picking books and leaving them in between. Wish me Best of luck ppl.

Before Sunrise

2007-05-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

This is how Bangalore morning's look for the last 1 week - starting from Tuesday 29/05/2007

P.S: Just in case you did not notice i have used the movie title 'Before Sunrise' as the caption for the post. From what i hear the movie has a great storyline in which 2 people meet in a city before sunrise away from their homes and spend the whole day, like each other, fall in love but decide to part ways and meet after 9 months at the same place. The second part is titled 'Before Sunset' which takes the movie ahead.

Shootout At IndiaGate

2007-05-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

TV = Total Vaste

2007-05-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

25/05/2007
I think the best thing to do on a Friday is to be down a few beers and get wasted because i happened to think otherwise and decided to stay at home and watch some TV. In return i ended up alternating between 3 news channels, 2 reality shows and eating up junks of food and WTF !! i so despised it. The best part was a reality show called 'Biggest Loser' where they get fat people from around the country and divide them into groups and the person who looses the maximum pounds wins and you got to trust me that show is going to kill someone very soon. The show makes a person who is weighing close to 200 Kg's do a month's workout in a week. God save those fat souls.

Anyway the week in Delhi has been great and highly entertaining as my mother spent all the time asking me stuff about the marriage. Trust me being able to pull a North Indian Punjabi Wedding is more difficult then being able to deliver a software project and to top it all up I'm right now on the way to both.

Bangalore Evenings

2007-05-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

It all happened on a lazy Sunday evening

Presenting Viral Videos

2007-05-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

Not sure how many of you know what 'Viral Videos' are all about - but according to wiki 'The term viral video refers to video clip content which gains widespread popularity through the process of Internet sharing, typically through email or IM messages, blogs and other media sharing websites.'

So this is what me and a college friend of mine(he's has a knack for making amateur home videos - who knows he might be the next big porn director in the making) are planning to do. Try to go around the city and make some video's on my camera and post them online for you all punters.

We already have some stupid ideas in place :-
1) Go and do some random interviews in our companies about some serious topics like 'Gay Marriage in India' or 'Do u like your project manager?' or 'Did you test your code today?'
2) Real stupid idea - Strap the freaking camera to my friend's bike mud guard and go around for a ride - I stand to loose my camera for sure in this one.
3) Go around Bangalore and video some cool stuff like the 'meter long coffee'
4) Start the video mode and play ball with the camera between him and me

In case any of you have suggestions of what you would want to see then please feel free to give your suggestions.

Should have something for you soon. Have already found a way to add videos on to my blog - i intend to use you tube for the same. If anyone of you know of other ways to do the same then do tell me.

Domestic Violence

2007-05-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

Lil did i know that i would also be a victim someday. Got the bridge of my nose smashed leaving behind a cut right over the point where the bridge of the spectacles come. Rendering me blind for a day as i cannot now wear my visibility aid for a day.

Went straight to Jaideva Hospital holding a swab of cotton to stop the bleeding the ward boy applied iodine tincture and gave me a swab of gauze to wipe the blood if required. Bum could not see that the cut was still bleeding but he like a great consultant suggested that i go and see a plastic surgeon in Apollo Hospital and I'm like i ain't Britney Spears or anything that i need a plastic surgeon.

Ne ways took an auto again to Apollo Hospital where the ward boy was stupid enough to pick up a stethoscope and blood pressure machine and i'm looking at his face and he's like what happened and i pointed to my nose and he's like - 'that's it !!' - i mean what did you expect?? that i poke an eye for you or shoot myself in the arm. Stupid Ass !

Anyway the attending docter came and she's like How did it happen? i casually turned around and looked at my tormentor. she did'nt ask anything more nor did i say anything. Neways i asked her if the wound requires some sutures and she's like even if you get plastic surgery done it would leave a scar and again i wondered Am i really Britney's lookalike ! So i said no i'll take it like a man and save the scar. It makes for a good story over beer. What say??

Came back 2 hrs back and the stupid bleeding is still not stopping. Yeah i bleed as i write but i want the people to know the truth. The hurt.

Thanks to Aastha for everything.

P.S: if you people need visual then let me know i got pictures too

Creative Photography

2007-05-05T20:13:00.001-07:00

Below are some of the pictures which i took over the past few days

The First Road Trip - Prep For the Himalayan Odyssey

2007-05-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

Mind you all this is not Fart because during the proceedings on this initiative my gluteus maximus got so absolut numb

Statistics
10 litres of petrol - Rs 500
Parking Fee - Rs 20
Entry Fee to Nandi Hills Fort - Rs 10
Tea - Rs 10
Being able to do my road trip - Priceless

So getting to the RT, Kota and Myself started early in fact we started a night before and went on to have couple of beers and watched pretty woman till 1 in the night finally waking up at 4.30 am to do the first road trip of my life - Bangalore - Nandi Hills - Bangalore. Its a mere 120 Km's back to back so a very small ride but it was my first one and that too on a Bullet.

We were out by 5.15 am with Kota riding and me pillion. We went as par as Yehlanka when we realized that we both have no idea about the directions except the fact thats its on the Bangalore- Hyderabad Highway. So i took over from Kota to ride Rocky II (thats the name of the bike). Now i'll be very open this was my first time i was riding a Bullet and if you notice carefully the Bullet Electra 4G has everything opposite i.e.
- The rear wheel brake is on the left.
- Gears on the right
- Front wheel brake on right top
- Clutch on left top

All in all i did not know how to ride it and to add on to it the highway had no lightning. :-)
But my ability to put myself into pretty stupid challenges was pretty strong so i started driving. I took my own sweet time to get used to the gears and lack of visibility with some near topples and brake mix ups. :-)

After the first 5 Kms i for the first time felt the dust and the grime on my palms and my first reaction was to turn around and ask Kota 'Do u also get this?' and he just nodded.

Ne ways we reached Nandi Hills and this is what it offers

We were back in Bangalore by about 9 am for a good breakfast prepared by Biswajeet. Once back home my i had one of the best hair blown beard (more on this later with pics).

All in all i would proclaim that I'm still in my infancy but I'm here now

Memoirs Of An Underwear

2007-05-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

This might end up as a cheap write to many and nostalgia to some who shared my days in engineering times. I write this post as a add on to Sharma's concerns about his underwear. Though i do not intend to talk about my jockey but i shall want to live the memoirs of a Calvin Klein which regularly did the rounds from G2G (Groin to Ground) and back.

It so happens that in my college days my roomie happened to be a pretty meticulous guy, meticulous in terms of the fact that he would put some specific number of CK's to use and those CK's once used would hit the spot on the trunk. In due time the pile of used clothes would grow in size which in accordance to Murphy's law was never manageable and in due time spillage used to drive those CK's to ground.

Now I'm sure we all know how dirty hostel rooms are so floors are going to be pretty messy state of affairs. At one such moment i saw the back trip happening for a CK and it was a pretty horrid site but then if i look at it now - Its life no wonder people say - What goes round comes around!

So to provide some respite to Sharma i shall say that dude its ok if the undie ends up as a mop just pray that the back trip does not happen.

Devil./

This Is What I Want?

2007-05-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

I have always been held in awe by travelers. Don't know why but probably its the thing which i have not experienced so far or probably because it runs in the blood

1) My father has spent 40 years of his career on sea and is still continuing to do so. Touch Wood.
2) My maternal grand father covered the whole of Kashmir on a bike.
3) My father along with my mother went all across Punjab on a bike.
4) My elder brother bought about the idea of buying a sail boat and going places. Sadly the idea died right over the beer over which it started but I'm sure he wants to still do it

And now i want to go through the same experience. I Want to travel.
For a major part of my life till now one of the best alternate professions which i would want to get into is wildlife photography or traveler associated with Discovery or National Geographic.

I do not want to do something big like a year of travel or a bike trip from India to some distant lands. I want to a simple 2 week trip from Delhi to Leh Ladakh as part of the Royal Enfield Himalayan Odyssey.

Some of the challenges which i face are:-
1) Getting a Royal Enfield Bullet
2) Getting my folks comfortable with the idea
3) Practicing enough riding before i face the 2 week ride knowing that its gonna take me to the world's toughest & highest motorable passes - Baralach La (16800ft), Tanglang La (17500ft) & Khardung La (18380ft)
4) Another important factor is the nature of my job which might require me to travel for work

So this is what i want to do and i still do not have a plan for the same but clearly i know that my elder bro and my sister in law do not support my endevour as per now.

Lets hope i'm able to beat the odds at this one.

Breaking News: Bathroom Singer Turns Pro

2007-04-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

So this is by far the most exciting news of the day today. One of my friends has decided to go from crooning in the bathroom to cut an album on his own. Yep he's going pro !! I don't know how but from what i know he gave an interview on the FM today under upcoming stars.

So apart from crooning in the tub Kunal from what i know has taken part in many singing competitions from school and yes bitch! he won too :-) I think that he was planning to take part in the Channel V pop stars gig too but was rejected on grounds of obesity - lol (kidding)

The reason why I'm blogging it is
1) I'm excited about him cutting an album especially because we both croon profanity all the time and I'm all in support of taking profanity to mainstream.
2) He's the only one person in my circle who i know is breaking the habit and moving out to do stuff which he wants.
3) He's a good singer and is my younger brother's best friend hence he has to be on my blog.

I'm not worried whether the gig takes off or not but what makes all the difference to me is that its too cool a thing to do. Hence Best of Luck Kunal !

Monopoly Times

2007-04-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

It was 1934, the height of the Depression, when Charles B. Darrow of Germantown, Pennsylvania, showed what he called the Monopoly Game. Its now sold in 80 countries and produced in 26 languages including Croatian. Its been played by around 500 million people who know how to play it well sans 'Aastha' - Her Style of playing - I won't pay you rent if i cross your land. simple. period.
Here's the summary of her last game.

And after 1 more round

Red - Jaspal's Business House
Blue - Sandeep and Udita's establishment over which i had free pass
Pink - Sandeep's Dollar Store in the end ;-)

Sadly Aastha was not able to open her hotdog stand too.
Hopefully she should improve next time - will post pics! lol

Mum's Home - Part 1

2007-04-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

My Mum = Sweety
28/04/07
- Spent the early half of the day catching up with Sweety - tales from back home and lazing around.
- Played yet another game of monopoly with Kota and Aastha. She still sucks - bum bowed out of the game this time.
- Went to Ebony in the evening - Had great fish(steamed wrapped in banana leaves with mint sauce) and beer. The weather was great. The place offers a wide view of the Bangalore city.

29/04/07
Day long trip to Mysore with Sweety and Aastha
1) Sri Ranga Patnam - Visited Colonel Bailey's Dungeon - This was by far the best part of the trip. The security guard for 10 bucks gave us all the history of the dungeon and i was able to get some good shots too.

2) Mysore Palace - Its one of the coolest palaces which i have seen till now. Infact the core difference between palaces in Rajasthan and South India which i found was that, that the palaces here in South India are more colorful whereas palaces in Rajasthan are more monotone. Sadly they don't allow you to take cameras inside neither do they allow shoes inside the palace. So all in all i hated it because the palace had some great shots to be taken. Panthers, Ivory Tusks, Peacocks, Hand crafted floors spanning more than 150 * 150 yards, Silver doors.

3) Sangam - which means the point where 2 rivers meet. The sangam near Mysore is highly overrated and dirty. Do not go there. :-(

4) Dasprakash - Had lunch here. Please do not have it here. :-(

5) Balmuri Falls - These effing water hole does not even meet the requriements of a fall. Just lot of placid water which goes placidly onto a set of rocks and govt has referred to it as Falls. :-(

6) And i let my hair down after a long time

Later./

Talk Less Speak More

2007-04-21T04:51:00.000-07:00

This *Fartlet is dedicated to Abhishek Sharma. Read on

Talk Less Speak More
Just Shut your crow and
Save ya the sweat off your brow

If you do not like the sound
Stop your verbal hound else
You are gonna round and round

Talk Less Speak More
Do think but do not show

For now is not the time to be the lord
Just be on your guard

Go quite but don't spite
Coz thats later gonna take your misery to its heights

Thy tongue is the only sword
Careful don't go 'too broad'

Talk less speak more
Save the itch don't be the bitch

Don't shove your foot in your mouth
and keep ur clout
Coz rebellion takes a moment to sprout
Just like a Blount

*Fartlet - A scribblet which took birth in the royal fartorium

Pimp my Blog

2007-04-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Following the small scale success of the show - 'Pimp my Ride' on MTV. I have decided to ask someone to 'pimp my blog' and along with i acknowledge that i cannot fix my blog colors. I get confused in those in exhaustive color schemes which blogger offers.

Been more or less busy with work and socializing that have not had a lot of time to neither read, nor write, nor kick ass. Hence the lull in posts.

Watched 2 movies, met 2 friends, made 2 BRD's, Had 2 beers, 2 dinners over the last 2 weeks.

Just changed the name and punchline for my blog today.
Talk about making some noise ! :-)

Ass Kicking Season 2007 - Kick 1 - Get 'em Laid

2007-04-06T05:28:00.000-07:00

3 years back when i graduated from my engineering college me and my friends from college start a group called 'SOAK' which stands for 'Society Of Ass Kickers' - The sole purpose of the society/cult to find prospective soak victims and kick some ass eventually passing the AKA (Art of Kicking) on.

The society was more or less dormant for the last 1 year with all SOAK'ians busy with work.
This time when i moved to Bangalore - i decided to start the ass kicking season for 2007 and here is what i present you 'Getthemlaid.com' - A site dedicated to referring people you love and whom you want to get some love (aka getting laid)

The prospective SOAK victim of year 2007 is Siddharth Sheth - A Indian born Gujarati whose been working with my company for about 3 years. Siddharth's been a great friend over the time but then my love and concern for him has to be shown to the world. Hence i referred sid (as we call him) for getting laid.

For more details please go here - Siddharth should get some...

Jas./

POA for the week to come

2007-04-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

01/04/2007

02/04
Going for a lipid test tomorrow morning. Nothing to fear about just that last fews times i got funny measurements when conducted a blood pressure test. All the hard work is Melbourne is surely going to speak for itself i know.

Stay home with folks - recuperate from the travel eat some home made food.

03/04
Fly to Bangalore and join under go the SA|3 Training for 2 days and get to meet Aaz and the gang of goons there Sweta, Rakesh and some college buddies.

04/04 - 05/04
Work :-(

06/04 - 09/04 - More Beer, Movies, Friends and Sleep.

'10' weeks in Australia

2007-04-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

01/04/2007
As i sit to catch my connecting flight to Delhi from the bangkok air port. Here's are my thoughts on the whole experience. My emotions are Happy sad like my director's.

Happy because i got see Kangaroo's ,Wallabies, Koala's, Penguins, Tasmanian devil. Happy because i got to hand feed Kangaroo's and watched the fight for survival of the penguins.

Happy Sad because I'm now a virtual Biosphere inside. In a matter of 14 days i have had the most open dietary routine in terms of cuisines rather animals - Calamari, Veals, Shark, Kangaroo, Crabs, Oysters, Salmon, Barra mundy, Steak, Pigs - all went down my palate in copious amounts along with couple of bottles of wine, a lil scotch, a lil rum, a lil brandy and yes beer. Boy i got an appetite to screw my system up. lol.

But i wont deny i loved it all - it surely fun especially that now i can for sure say whether i like this wine or not because i didn't like the merlot they serve on the flight.

Now Sad because a co-worker of mine told me a Chinese saying - 'They pay for your food and you repay them with your life' - 16 hours day for 2 weeks surely left me drained and wanting sleep.

There were tons of funny moments over the course of 14 days namely uncovering agent 1.7, the Alan parson project, Getting to know the best pick up line to get a girl @ Transport from an Aussie.

Buddha's People

2007-04-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

17/03/2007
Awesome company especially old Thai women. They do not try to have a conversation with you. If you try to have one they smile n say 'No English' which tells the frog in me to just shut up and enjoy croaking by myself. All old Thai women above the age of 50 need to wear a beach cap on the flight. All of them. Could not take a pic yet again :-(

Old age has its own issues but yes Thai grannies have found the remedy too - tiger Balm. Just after i took my seat the balm smell drugged me and induced sleep without even a drink. Zzzz..

Buddha's Airlines

2007-04-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

17/03/2007
I'm not St anger like AJ but first experience before i get to fly down south does bring out some emotions.

Before i delve deep into reliving the Thai experience lemme kick some brown ass. I agree in the past we have had a shit airport in New Delhi but its been improving at a good pace over the last one year - but what burns me is when i effing cows littering the waiting area and then trying to see if someone saw them or not. I wish i had the patience to take the cow's picture and send my story to a newspaper. God bless the cow.

I had heard a lot about Buddha's airlines and i concur the seats the definitely better compared to KLM and BA. Which is unusual - as Europeans as more heavily set as compared to South East Asians but i think the realization is still not there on both sides.

Thai air hostess as definitely more warm and cordial. funny thing the traditional way of welcoming someone in Thailand is something like 'Sawasadee' and is done by joining both of your hands in front of your chest and the way Indians too is also the same just that we say 'Namaste' on the other hand Sikhs say 'Sat Sri Akal'. Now giving some credit to the nasal twang which the air hostess had and my hearing disability - i thought she said 'sat sri akal' to me and man was i impressed. The happiness was short lived when i saw the same gesture being repeated for everyone on board.

Where is Jaspal?

2007-03-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

Amidst piles of work Jaspal Sawhney [a.k.a the Victim in this blog entry] was last seen boarding a thai airways flight on 9'th March 2007 to Australia via bangkok on the flight the victim(victim of loads of work, coffee and wine) reportedly did a new blog entry called the 'Buddha's Flight' - Details of the blog entry are being withheld. On the bangkok airport he was seen with a manager species who goes by the name RK. The victim looked a lil distressed at the airport.

The duo were then seen at Melbourne Airport, Australia where under tight security they were transported quickly to the high profile prison [Crowne Plaza] where reportedly all the FINA [Swimming champions] are also being kept. Since that day the victim has been seen regularly having wine and trying out non Indian dishes likes Oysters, Veal, Spicy Pumpkin Juice, Sushi etc.

According to the bar tender at the hotel lobby bar - the victim has started finding solace in eating vegemite and cheese lately and was last seen giving finishing touches to the brand new global study - 'Comparison on Airlines industry in the Northern and Southern Hemisphere'.

I'm Reporting for Reuters from Melbourne. Stay tuned for more information as try to get in touch with the victim and bring you the real news.

India Unbound

2007-03-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

Monday, 05 March, 2007
I have been regularly summoned by people for expressing my feelings which can be termed as Anti-Indian. Their point being that when i downplay the current state of affairs in urban India I'm being plain stupid because that leads to the people abroad form an opinion about India which is not right. I disagree but i don't want to argue also.

Presenting Rural India which is kicking ass of urban India on all accounts. I Chanced to watch the Science Safari - Think Beyond program on National Geographic. The program supported by the ministry of science and information technology (not sure about this - forgot to note down) is designed to bring the technological advancements making foray into rural India - btw Rural India stands for 700 million Indians live in 600,000 villages. Read here.

Starting from use of solar energy in form of Solar Bowl at auroville for cooking to cooperating with Daimler Chrysler to derive Bio Fuel from a widely growing type of weed which manifests on the most of the low quality Indian soils to using Sagar Kanya - the shipping vessel which is currently being used to research ocean beds which are rich sources of nodules (rocks high in metallic constituents)

The Program talked about LCA being currently tested for induction in the Indian Air Force to replace the aging Mig's (Bloody Russians ;-)) then shifting the focus on to the GPMT which has been credited with the last two known discoveries associated to Pulsars (FYI: pulsars are remnants of the stars having undergone supernova) the ironic part being the foray of internet in the villages used for education (Project: Ashwini) and its wireless which i'm talking about and here i'm sitting without an internet connection in my house just because the internet company still have not wired the area.

Seeing the program made me secretly wish that i would want to move to one to one of these projects and be a part of the new urbanization of rural India and rush away from the ruralization of the urban India.

Can't Beat This Meat

2007-03-05T19:36:00.000-08:00

Thursday, 01 March, 2007

The day starts at night, there's no fright
The roads narrower than sidewalks, filled with loads of talks
Tales for sure running into googles, You my friend are in the land of the mughal's

The air's pleasant, the moon's turning into a crescent
The smell of succulence descending all around you, dogs going boo
Its not a Dream, You my friend are at Jama Masjid Karim

This Thursday a 6 member archaeological team compromising of Canadian national - Jaspal :-) and 5 other punters went about to uncover the secrets of the mughal kitchen at Karim's (Spank my Ass for not getting the pictures). There area of interest being to find some lamb bones.

Anyone coming from abroad who has a fondness for non veg and wants to see the real Delhi away from the swanky high rises or the IT companies @ Gurgaon or the clubs(more on these later) should go and see old Delhi, the Delhi which bears the marks of the centuries of reigns of kings from Genghis Khan to Mughals.

From the kitchen of the mughals - the chief cook - Haji Karimuddin bought the delicacies which were served to emperors only to the masses following the collapse of the mughal empire. Started in 1913 karim has been quoted all across. U may read the reviews here.

The menu for the night for us was
- Chicken Soup
- Chicken Burra
- Mutton Kebabs
- Mutton Rann
- Mutton Stew
- Brain Curry
- Chicken Jaisalmeri
- Mutton Korma
- Chicken Korma
- Phirnee (4 per person)

The Bill - 1700 INR (incl tip) = 42.5 CAD for 6 people
The Experience - Awesome

I have been to only one branch of Karim's i.e. the Jama Masjid one and i go there 2-3 times a year - its my annual haj as per say. The service excellent the servers courteous. In case you are a vegetarian this might just be your original sin. Think abt it.

All in All - U Just Cant Beat This Meat

Sardarography - My Contribtion To Pornography

2007-02-28T23:12:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, 28 March, 2007

The other day me and a brother of mine started talking about the eminence of Sikhs in different walks of lives suddenly shooting to stardom at the same time from the honorable prime minister of India - Mr. Manmohan Singh to the professor of technology marketing at Kellogg Mr Mohanbir Sawhney to the first original Punjabi rock star Mr Rabbi Shergill or Mr Malvinder Singh the pharma honcho from Ranbaxy. The Sikhs are making news on all fronts sans some like pornography. Now Now i know that pornography is not our culture it comes from the 'US' of 'A' but come on guys we bought about the 'Kama' of 'Sutra' which i believe is responsible for half of the fittest bodies across the globe.

So we(me and my brother) started to brain storm about what would it need for Sikhs to make it big on the pornography front. We narrowed down that we can not fit Sikhs into the mainstream pornography after all not all people have a hair fetish hence we would need to cater to a small segment of the industry a.k.a boutique pornography - offering services to a small segment of lustful minds.

Sardarography would promote acts like Butter chicken Licks, Chittar Fetish, Tandoori Eff's, Sex la Patiala, Balle Balle Balls - the list being endless.

Here my friends i have taken the first step to bring Sikhs into the ever growing market or pornography. :-)

P.S: This can also be seen as a sign that i'm having no work these days. Managers please note.

Obituary

2007-02-26T21:22:00.000-08:00

With profound grief i announce that i have lost my favorite pair of Jeans. We were together for about 5 years from 2'nd year of college. Here are some of her last pics. :-(

I got tons of compliments in her last days - 'coz she was faded just right but sadly its time for me to start afresh.

I'll miss you my jean.

Punctuation - The Way I See It

2007-02-26T19:45:00.000-08:00

Ever since i started penning my thoughts since last year a number of people have given me advice/feedback/support for my style of writing. Which i do not know what it is. But yes one thing which i clearly recognize when i look at my posts is that they are not punctuated well.

When i initially received feedback from a friend whom i shall refer as 'M' that 'there are so many spelling mistakes and errors in your post' i took it rather seriously and started to religiously run spell checkers on my posts before publishing them. To be very truthful i don't enjoy running spell check on my posts because to me its processing my post and i detest that. I like it the way it is - on the face with its imperfections. moreover everything in today's times is processed from food to news to babies so why not stick to the old school and not process this shit which i write - i mean the world really does not need processed shit. Do You ?? :-D

My take on Punctuation -
Whats matters is that you pass the message across - loud and clear, weather or not it is spic and span is not the reason why i write but yes not giving too much feedback on feedback (i see all sapient people reading closely now) i promise over the time you shall see more distinctly clean punctuation. Remember to pay attention to the posts now on and let me know if its improving.

Family Time

2007-02-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

Saturday - Feb 24, 2007
Today's my folks 33'rd marriage anniversary. I take it as 16.5 Years though or less - Coz practically my dad has spent half of his life on the ship. In his job there ain't any holidays like this i guess. A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

My dad's on the ship these days so it was me and my mum - took her to a Chinese Place for Steamed Dim sums. Funny Thing happened - I was using cop sticks to slice the dim sum into half and the chop sticks were like strong plastic ones. Zap - The chopstick broke into 2 but the dim sum was there unharmed. Anyway all in all the place sucks

Don't know what to say - Did i not know how to have dim sums with chopsticks? Was the Dim sum too hard to be sliced into half? I'm not even attempting to answer this. lol

Took my maa for some Heavenly Mocha which was great and shopped for some CD's. Rest of the day went in catching with my extended family and my granny. She's happy when i spend time with her. Get so scared about seeing them old. I would use the phrase 'Happy Sad' about the whole experience of meeting my family.

Coffee and Cognac

2007-02-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

Friday - Feb 23, 2007
Today's the day i fly back to a country called India, Just got to know last evening that i had spent now 192 days in year 2006 in my motherland - Canada. Saw all seasons mets fellow Canadians and Chinese and Russians and Lankans - sorry no Canadians - They don't exist. Eff it - I'm an Indian a true brown man.

Got on the Flight with no excess baggage the 'lady' behind the counter was understanding enough to let me allow to check in slightly over weight baggage. Over the past the 'cow' behind the corner was an 'ass' but this time she was a 'lady'.lol

Broke all personal records of watching movies end 2 end. 4 movies and no drinks. Can you beat that. The movies were

Babel - Must watch movie for anyone who likes Guy Ritchie's movies or the one's who liked Crash or Nagesh Kuknoor's Teen Deeware.

A Good Life - Good movie for those who are French or Who want to be French. Talks all about Bon Jour (Not Bon Jovi please). Russell Crowe delivers a great show and best part is his secretary who through all through the movie never fitted the setting where the movie is all about French country side, French Wine, French Women and i was so right she was a Indian settled in UK.

The world's Fastest Indian - Movie based on the life of Burt Munroe, whose record set in 1967 for fastest speed achieved on a bike under the 1000cc category still remains unbeaten. Also a good show of manner's down under in 'US' of 'A'. Mate! U got to see it.

My personal Fav - Forest Gump - The movie's so well done that i don't tire seeing it again and again. Jannny !!

By the time i was done with FG - Lousy Indian Dinner was served i mean for once KLM should acknowledge - Upmaa is to be served HOT not Cold. Eff it. The Physicist from Euthania seated next to me asked for Coffee and Cognac. I could not understand the combination but it was to be tried. Its good believe me or not But he and me had it the opposite way - he finished his cognac first and coffee after it i did the opposite.

Lets wait for the jet lag to kick in now !!

Yippee - Delhi here i come !!

2007-02-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

Just got my tickets done for 22'nd for the trip back to India, Delhi - and i'm all excited to be a part of the rush be a part of fellow brown men, part of the crowded bazaars and no SNOW scare.
take my word for this - It does not snow in toronto - i stayed in toronto downtown for abt 3 months durning winters n its a joke when someone says that it snows heavily. Liars !! ;-)

Just got introduced to the OST for Delhi Heights yesterday and it rocks - Features my fav singer Rabbi Shergill - the entire movie has his music and songs incl the already hit - Tere Bin.
He is by far and large the only musician who has been able to put the rock guitar sucessfully in punjabi music.

The movie i beleive (i'm just assuming) features a story set against the far and wide population of Delhi. All you chinese people need to be there once - you guys would love it. You would love the gradeur the business the sheer records delhites break in terms of number of people living per sq feet.

Its a mass of people living together and making it large. Delhi here i come !!
Vroom Vroom !!

Hibernation Season Coming To An End

2007-02-17T20:15:00.000-08:00

Just came back from watching 'Eklavya' - The Royal Guard. Has all the biggies of the bollywood industry in it and the soft and subtle Vidya Balan too - All white people who like Indian woman google 'Vidya Balan' - The face of India ;-)

Month's been kind of slow yet happening in one way. February is essentially the month of financial crisis for me. Have couple of dates to manage and they all require money money but its fun and I'm happy its coming to end.

There have'nt been any interesting posts this year so far. Have not read much still struck on 'Talk to the Hand' By Lynne Truss. The books for people who are mannered - ill or well both. Well mannered people should read the book and feel good about the thought that they form the moral fiber of the book on the other hand ill mannered people should read the book and accept that the book in a strict sense would force you to choose between being sauve a.k.a english or comfortable. Stuff like not talking in trains. If talking then excusing. No 'Eff Off' or 'Effing' ever. :-) Lynne must be crazy - Effing is just an inch away from being included in the 'Book of good Manners'.

LT presents an interesting perspective about how does self servicing abilities are 'rude'. Personally I loved that part in which she clearly explained that an automatic answering machine at a bank though says please but does not mean anything.

Thats all for now - Eff Off !! :-) lol
P.S - I'm learning from the book u see - No 'F' word.

Sad pig i'm

2007-01-27T20:07:00.000-08:00

Yes u read it right instead of being happy pig i have been a sad pig this January. The whole month has passed by and i did not pick a book, nor did i try any creative cooking (except that i have taken to picking up pre marinated fish from lob laws and baking it), nor did i work correctly put there's no work, nor did i blog. What a freaking eff month !!
Yes but i have eaten close to 150$ of cherries - Oink Oink!!

Had a great day today - spend time at a friend's place watched a bollywood movie and spent time eating and having Indian Chai. Also have given up timmy'z to a greater degree and started sticking to green tea in office. Thats my baby step to getting back in shape.

This shall be taken care off - This is by all the saddest blog entry ever probably the last one too.
The BiB!!

Announcement

2007-01-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

Winnie just told me that the Chinese new year starts from like Mid February - so official pig season is going to start for me then till next year Feb.

Till then i shall do some Happy-Go-Lucky wallowing.

Would post more on what defines 'Happy-Go-Lucky' wallowing.

Till then Oink! Oink!

2007 - Welcome the Pig!!

2007-01-01T18:49:00.000-08:00

Not that i have great Chinese friends that i refer to the Chinese calendar - i just love pigs hence what else would be a better way to start the new year then to welcome the pig. You all shall be seeing the pig some time soon now. Someone gifted us a wedding fund piggy bank in shape of a PIG and I'm planning to get it to work so you all can pass on your best wishes too ;-). lol

And for my new year resolution - this time my resolution is being seriously thought about, my earlier resolutions were on the lines of no beer. kick more ass but i think this year it would be something which is going to get concrete over this week and shall be made public in the last week of December 2007 with outcome.

May you all end up as a happy pig at the end of this year.
Oink! Oink!

There's something about a Wall

2006-12-25T10:23:00.000-08:00

Its a known menace. It looks Funny rather weird. Its one thing which only men can do. Women i would say have enough elegance to not do it lest i infuriate the 'Equal Rights for Women' :-D
Its not endemic its fit enough to be called as an epidemic - its what all of us men would have done as kids or some of you lazy rascals still do it - Its

Loosing it on a wall

Recently on my trip to India i delivered my first duties as a Glotizen. I created some public awareness about not loosing it on a wall. I with another friend was waiting to pick up a guy from outside a subway station. Little did we realize that we had parked next to a 'Wall' - Not any common wall - not even the great wall of china but the Pissing Wall. The time around 6 in the evening a time when everyone would be rushing from their work to homes and in that rush hour one lucky guy decided to pay homage to the wall. Lucky was he that a Glotizen was there - i let him have his moment of ecstasy while i waited for mine.

Now how embarrassing would this be - U loose it one moment and another guy Wins it the other. So i called this guy who was about to go on his way from the car- he comes innocently thinking that i might ask him about the time or stuff but i pop a simple question - Why did u do that? and his first reaction - He smiles and my first reaction - Drop Dead Look with a big '?' on my face.

His Answer - I'm Sorry and then i lost it :-D
Similar thing happened with another guy after this in the same fashion. first he lost it on the wall then i lost it on him.

It was funny as my friend in the car was laughing his ass off all the time but its serious.

Guys Trust me there's nuthing about the wall.

X'mas DnD - The Birth of the Glotizen

2006-12-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

That stands for X'mas Dinner and Debate. We went to Gary's and Vip's Place for X'mas Dinner or rather dinner. Around 9 people, Great food followed by a Great debate -

'Can the Growing population or the already high population of India be dealt with or not?'

The conclusion to the debate never came out but the ride to try to find a conclusion was healthy enough because it took my down the road to the time of 1960's when the Asian Tiger were in full economic boom in Malaysia and Taiwan to the time of economic reforms in India in the 1990's to the current Nuclear Deal between India and USA to some Bush Bashing to Harper Spanking to
China to not underestimating the role of technology to bring about awareness to the masses.

Interestingly as i sat on the sides watching this debate take place i realized that people now are to my surprise more apt to the thought of being a 'Global Citizen' also to be known as 'Glotizen' with a lil bias to their native country.

Why i feel so?

Consider Indians in Canada - as we talked about stuff last night - i felt a sense of frustration prevailing among the room where people wanted to do stuff or people who are doing stuff but not being able to take it to the point that they can see a tangible result of their inputs. One common point which came up again and again was that those people are not on Ground Zero so at some point or the other the entire picture which the people here hold of the situation there is not completely clear. Clearly those people want to do stuff not for their own country but anyone who needs it. The fall back of being a Glotizen is clearly that it is gonna aid in increasing the disparity between the Developed and the Developing Nations but think about it this way if we are able to good Glotizen's then single handedly we would be able to have a great impact on the growing phenomenon of America Vs Islam as a Glotizen would be a living example of tolerance and working together for a common cause.

Thoughts/Comments/Feedback??

My Great Indian Vacation

2006-12-21T23:02:00.000-08:00

Damn you ilia - You Joked that I'll be back in Toronto for X'mas and I'm Here :-D to celebrate my first White Winters.

Ways to Spend a Vacation in India??
1) Go to an exotic Beach in Goa or Kerela or stay at a coffee plantation in Coorg and splurge on goodies.
2) Visit Temples of South India or Camel Rides through Rajasthan.
3) Visit Paradise on Earth - Kashmir
or
My Vacation:

Lost 2 of my Grandparents at the age of 80 or above. Both were kicking ass till the end. I liked them both. Got to meet the whole of family far and wide both sides. Met my GF's family. Yes our parents gave us their blessings. Surprisingly everyone from her side found me to be an innocent looking. lol.

Jingle Bell Jingle Bell - Toronto

2006-12-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

The other probable headings for this post could have been
1) My Xmas Holiday Party
2) The Drinking Fish
3) Meeting the Chan's or Lekhter's or Ilancheran's or Medina's

But i choose to keep it 'Jingle Bell Jingle Bell - Toronto' because I'm hoping that I would get to attend another Xmas party back in India again which i hope would be equally amazing.

Got to know only yesterday morning that there's a dress code for the party. Damn the Social Committee. lol !!
Luckily had picked up a Sports Coat 4 days back so teamed it up with black Pants and a Matching Shirt and i was all set to party!!
This was my first Western Party as per say. Been to parties before here in Toronto but this was a strict evening wear gig. Thanks to the Social Committee for this. lol!!

The agenda was simple
6.30 - 7.30 : Cocktails
7.30 - 9.30 : Dinner
9.30 - Dawn : Dance

So i reached the venue which was an Old Church which is now rented out for parties. We(me, Michelle, Eric and couple of other guys) were the last to leave the office and the first one's to reach the venue.

Met Chris and Krysta then came Mike and Binita then came Ilia and Amanda then came Winnie and drinks. :-D

High on Wine and special Holiday cocktail the party was great until the DJ I'll refer to him as the Bishop starting playing music. He was seriously enlightened by Black Eyed Peas - because every 3'rd number which he was playing was by them. Other numbers were by Rihanna, Kenny Loggins (Foot Loose) Even played a Punjabi Number but the best number of the evening was Mararena when the Winnie Started swimming on the Stage with Chris, Ravi and another lady.

Hilarious !! Ravi could do the hand movement but the ass simply was'nt moving - lol

Did a couple of shots with the Russian Mafia (Ilia, Nick and they found another Russian brother from a different mother)

All in All a great way to end my second tour of Canada.
Hope to be back soon.

Adios.

Wii for Mee Too

2006-11-29T20:35:00.000-08:00

I'm in sheer tutaloo today !!

I'm not a game boy - Have never had the patience to sit in front of the tv and play and play and play. Went to my Cousin's place and got a first hand experience of Wii - Its awesome. Played all the games on the arcade - Bowling, Tennis, Baseball, Golf, Boxing - haven't sweat this much in a long while. All i was doing was drinking and playing. Makes me wonder is this where the world is shaping to - burning calories while playing games in your home.

I mean except fresh air and smell of green earth all the effects which you can imagine from the sound to commentary to actual vibrations can be felt in your hands and talking abt fresh air and green earth i don't think its gonna be a lot of time before some geek actually connects a oxygen tank and vaporiser to the console. Food for thought !!

Infact i tried out both Xbox and Wii today. Both of them are amazing. Wii being cheaper is definitely worth a try for non gamers like me to start on with. The only thing which i would love to buy first would be a 50'' HD TV and then its playball.

Lets see when do i get crazy enough to pick a Wii for me. Its gonna happen soon.

Btw just incase you are wondering what is a tutaloo - its a slang for extreme happiness.

Ugh Ugh !!

2006-11-29T01:13:00.000-08:00

The name's 'Dimetapp' its sans alcool and its not effective - Been down with Cough and Sneezing for more than 24 hours now and feeling shitty. Just been sleeping all day yesterday and can't sleep anymore now hence I'm awake at 4 in the morning to write this piece of crap just to move myself out of a pseudo writer's block though i agree with others that there's nothing like a 'Writer's Block' - A writer writes when he/she feels like.Simple.Period.

Past few weeks have been very passive after i sprained my hands and ankles doing ice skating. Been pretty much laying low. Not much happening at work too. Last weekend was good - Brother came back from India. Caught up with him over the weekend discussing some stuff. My Folks never seem to amaze me. They landed at a Bose showroom and picked up a Bose wave technology System in less than 10 mins. Luckily i had picked up some classic blues few days back by Al Green and Marvin Gaye so it should be fun testing that box.

Like a true son i also decided to make myself feel a lil better out of this sickness so went ahead and splurged on some sports coat's by guess - the bill might also be one of the reasons that I'm awake at this time of the night. The next month looks pretty laid back going to Delhi, India on 4'th and then Time off with family and friends for about 10 days and then joining back in B'lore around 19'th. Haven't planned anything for the new year though the spirit would be strong and hopefully i would get some breather before traveling back to Toronto.

Thats all Folks. Ugh Ugh !!

FNATz

2006-11-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

FNATz is a habit, FNATz is a way of life. The theme for the last week FNATz was 'Indian Food Russian Style'. The connoisseur's being El Judi (i.e. me), Babu, Nick(The Russian DrugLord), Dev(The south Indian musician) and Tuss. To elaborate more the idea was to have Indian food with lot of vodka. Food was on me Drinks were on Nick.

The party started like all others with Tuss and me emptying the contents of a bottle of appleton(Rhum). Not that we have a drinking problem but that bottle was calling out to us to put it to its place. Neways the party the first 'Sloshed out' party which when ended the room looked like a battle ground. Thinking about it now makes me feel high.

We between 5 people finished 2 bottles of Stolichnaya - A Russian Vodka filtered through quartz, cloth and Siberian birch charcoal. That's exotic. right?

The coolest thing about the party were the various toast done by people. As the number of shots increased so did the grandeur and stupidity of the toasts.
Toast 1: To love and Life.
Toast 2: To something i don't remember but i remember that Russian customs call that the second one should follow immediately after the first one. ooh i remember now the 2'nd Toast was for 'Dolma' she was my grandmaa's dog.
Toast 3: To my Grand maa - she was a great lady, Very social and pampered me a lot.

The first bottle is done by this time

Toast 4: To all the women who are no longer in our lives.
Toast 5: Babu got drunk at this point and starting expressing my love for his family and for helping him be what he is now - A Jackass. (no harm intended)
At this point Tuss opted out.

The second bottle is all thick and syrupy now since its coming out of the freezer

Toast 6: To stay in correspondence for the next 5o years - It was me who came up with this corny lines. What a JackAss am I !!
Toast 7: Everyone was sloshed by now, so started the Battlestar Gallatica episode - utter chaos -Dev and Babu fighting over as to who gets the pot to throw up.

So nick and me do the final shot wrapping the bottle and decide to test out our expertise on the foozball table @ sapient. Throwing Dev into his room was an activity because he had passed out by now.

In the end it was me and nick left and we did make our trip to sapient to the foozball table and then back to my apartment to have a rhum and coke but then we both passed out.

All the time during the party i was repeating 1 dialog - Here it goes..
'A man's got to do what a man's got to do'

BTW FNATz is 'Friday Night at Tushar's'

Later./

This is what i want !! Aaah

2006-11-16T20:11:00.000-08:00

1) Was just watching 'The Big Lebowski' Dozed off in between. Trying to watch that movie for the last 2 nights but i guess i'm dead to the bone. Always loose it. Tomorrow's another Day. Gonna nail this movie.

2) Just came online to find Chinese person 1 commented on my post calling me racist. lol - Loved it. I guess I'm just awaiting a disaster to happen when some one writes a mail to the People Success People. That's gonna be so corny :-)

3) Just took a dump of Fry Boi's Music on to my 'Treasury' [Thats what i call my 7200 rpm spindle speed HDD] and just realized that i need a mood reader plugin or software like pandora.com which can just pick music from my 20 GB dump based on what i start on with and what i tag as a thumbs up or a thumbs down. In a nutshell i want the algorithm running on pandora.com to run on my local HDD so that i can put the music i have on my machine to some use and not run after discovering new music. This needs to be done dude. This is the future of music on pc's.

4) I just completed '5 people you meet in heaven - Mitch Alboom' - Review: I picked the wrong book at the wrong time. The book apparently is a NY times best seller but not for me.

Chinese people just got blogged !!

2006-11-16T18:32:00.000-08:00

Yes WYSIWYG - 2 chopsticks have inspired me to give them a special place on my Blog. If you would notice on the right side, I'm pro China now onwards. Now i have Winnie along with Chris on the Blog of Honor.
Enjoy the Blogs.

The Last 10 days and 4 days to come

2006-11-16T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm not Dead nor am i suffering from the writer's block. Just been tied up with work before and workshop training for the last 3 days. The training got over today - Was a decent enough experience. Got to know a lot about how to run client workshops. Last day was the mock exercise - went pretty well.

Parul's coming over to Toronto this weekend for 4 days and I'm gonna be taking vacations to spend time with her.

Else wise life's pretty much bland no hustle no flow. Hopefully coming days are gonna be a lil more exciting.
Till then Adios./

The Sapient Blues Song - First Draft

2006-11-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

(Opening Stanza)
SapeFit to the core if you are
You shall certainly be no bore !!
Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

Traveling from shore to shore
Working round the clock
you shall place issues to the Dock
and some like me shall put mindless scribbles to there blogs

Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

You shall feel the same Monday blues and the Friday Highs
but the 3 days between are never Dry
Juicing you to the brim
You might Cry, wanting to Die !!
But never get enough of the Absolute High

Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

Some might Slack !
Some might look to be Crack !
but everyone's got 'feedback'
to hit it back
Right with a Smack !!

Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

Your life's not encore if you are not core !!
you'll get the appreciation and Live 6 Degree's of Separation
Live 6 blocks of life which can substitute for your wife
mark my words you nor her would have any strife

Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

People - Most here are nubile
Don't mistake them as docile they are freakin Agile
Girls are proud some do make us proud ;-)
Downing beer by the pitcher
and Yeah ! none of them ever needs a stretcher

Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

There's Cohesion lasting all Seasons
across all regions
There's also an occasional spark
'Coz
Someone needs to work in the Dark
But in the end Sapient makes the mark

Living your life all the time
as if its an 'Encore' !!

Mindless 'Scribblet' Again

2006-11-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

Ur life's no Encore if you are not Core.

3'rd on the Rocks

2006-11-05T01:45:00.000-08:00

Talk abt drinking like a fish i can understand but talk about drinking after 9 days of more than 15 hrs days in a stretch and that too all alone is surely a cause of concern. Anyone sane would surely want to sleep but i want to go on and on. :-).
Listening to Nirvana - 'The man who sold the world' and I'm eyeing Fry Boi's 6 String lying packed in the leather case in his room. No wild idea's so far but who knows what may happen...
Later guys.

An Ode to GF

2006-11-05T00:48:00.000-08:00

Some thing which i have been working for for about 2 weeks now.

What you see is not a Drink
My Friend !!
Its life filled to the Brink
It might make u Sink
But for sure its gonna help you Link
Link all the Cries !!
Link all the Highs !!

Make ya Mellow beat the Yellow

Sinister dreams shall Invade
Which you in your normal senses will Evade
But
Don't Debate, Don't Fight, Don't Fright
Coz soon clearer is the sight to respect
Easier are the sorrows to forget
Stronger the might to beget
Higher to heights you would have lept

Live your glass to enjoy your Class
you are not the mass
whose getting high on Grass
Your senses are like Flea's Bass
Plunging you deeper than the highest high
Fly Baby Fly

P.S - GF is not Girl friend it stands for GlenFiddich.

Fry Boi

2006-11-04T21:38:00.000-08:00

'Nickoli Roussava' from now onwards also known as FB - [Fry Boi] is gonna be 3 roomie now in 2 months after Murgi, Papa Edwards. I actually like this people coming in and going out of my life though thats the cycle of my personal relationships too. Anyway haven't still met him but credentials speak that he's good roomie material.

Stuff to look for in a good roomie
1) Drink like a Fish.
2) Crack jokes like a Man - No sissies or 'I hope you didn't feel bad'.
3) Creative Prankster.
4) Needs to suffer from verbal Diarrhea.

Any Way Nick or FB loves to Fry everything. He challenged me to that he'll fry one of my birds for dinner and i challenged him that I'm gonna kill him if he does that but i promised that if he's good to nick I'm gonna help him hunt a white chick which he can happily fry. Then i asked him that whether he knows how to cook and he said that he can for sure fry shit. eeks but its ok i don't know what these canuks are like. God help them.

So i thought why not name him 'Fry shit Boi' but then in lieu of censorship rules i have decided on 'Fry Boi'. Welcome to the curse !!

Halloween and the Ass

2006-11-02T18:15:00.000-08:00

We Indians don't celebrate Halloween since its not part of our social scene and all those people who say that 'no no we do!! its a nice thing and we should enjoy it with the people of the land we are on' - i have a simple question the people out of India also do stripping or Streaking on the social scene but then we Indians get so culture conscious. so keep the banter to yourself or better shove it up ur lower torso :-).

I'm sure you would have noticed the anger in the few lines!! did you or did you not? If not then
you probably are used to getting this kind of treatment from your better halves. I feel sorry for you. Neways the anger above is because of the crazy week which i have had. Spending nights at work since last week weekend incl. It is a dog house here. Issues on Issues and no sleep. In fact this was a week of bad choices. They being:-

1) Picked up wrong set of movies from the store - Titus, Capote - Haven't watched Titus but Az told me that it sucks so don't wanna spend time on it. Started Capote - Seymour - acted great but the movie's slow and cold so couldn't get my mind on to it. Looking forward to Mr and Mrs Smith, LA Confidential to balance the agony. :-(

2) Have had so much of jerk chicken and noodles from Caribbean queen that i have started hating it now. Nor is Pizzarustica helping a lot. :-(

3) Jasraj is gone to India for his first visit to his grandparents and so has Rest of the family. All i have left me are 'KT' and they are also not that happy. When i met them today in the evening they were so happy to see me that i felt bad for them. Those guys had been listening to pop music whole day and it makes an ass out of a being. Just got them switched to some jazz so use the time to do some introspection and start to like each other. Lets See :-(

So if you see for a happy go lucky guy like me 3 reasons and tons of work is for sure a difficult situation to be handle and also when I'm practicing teetotalism not that i have stopped it but its something like the karmic act of mindful sex where you prepare yourself to reach higher level of ecstasy with your partner. My partner in this context being - A Bottle of Glenfidish which Bhai gave me with strict instructions that it has to be taken without water/coke or rocks just as it is. :-)

The only cool thing which i experienced this week was Jasraj dressing up for Halloween. He dressed up as an Ass - Lol - Funny thing his face matched that off an Ass. It was so awesome to look at my 15 month old nephew to be dressed up as an Ass if i had my way i would loved to give him company the only thing i wouldn't have needed to dress up for it.

Anyways its time to tail the build again. So Here i go ..'Up Up and Away' to be read as 'F%$# F%$# and I'm Dead'.

Later./

Onion Volcano and the Chop Stick Wars

2006-10-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

'Ching Chong su kaa ching chong' !! - thats my war cry when i get into chop stick wars with my nephew. Went with these guys to Binihana (Red Flower in English) - A supposedly good Japanese Steak Place. It was good don't doubt my intentions. My first visit to Binihana was with Azz and Mountain Man. That was a hilarious visit because we were just looking to grab a inexpensive dinner and we landed up with a 80$ Bill between 3 people and a spoon full of wasabi in my mouth and fire in of my ass. Here on i would call it 'Kill Dip'. Funny thing for the inexpensive dinner was that i was dressed up for the occasion in my best pair of green bathroom slippers. ;-). Neways that was a good meal and money well spent.

The only thing which i didn't try that day was sake - the Japanese wine made from rice.
Like everything Japanese it is also served in tiny cups with tiny hands from a person having tiny eyes walking on tiny feet. Lil Tiny's.

So today's visit was primarily to drink sake and watch the onion volcano again. By Onion Volcano is meant "teppan-yaki" in which food would be prepared right at the table "teppan-yaki" style (Teppan meaning "steel grill" and yaki meaning "broiled") with dazzling effects by highly trained chefs. The Onion Volcano was good but the chef wasn't too artistic. We had tempura, Steak and Sushi. Awesome Food - Though i still haven't developed a taste for sushi apart from that loved everything. Tempura is like a Fried shrimp more or less. Nothing too funky.

Along with us was a couple from Boston - the lady's name was Trisha i didn't bother to ask the guy's name. ;-) They had with them a 14 month old Baby Benjamin - called 'Benjmi'. So after i had done my Chopstick 201 i started with the best part of a chop stick Meal - chopstick fight. I usually find a kid - Indian Kids are darnest of them all they might just poke the chopstick up in your eyes - they put up a good fight. So me and jasraj got into this chop stick fight and i won as usual and then i get to kick his ass. So i whopped his ass today.

Got back to the office to wrap up some work and then planing to take the other document home now and work from there. Weekend's Gonna go working.

Diwali and Yak Yak

2006-10-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

I finished 'Delhi' - The books awesome. Started to fall in love with my city more now. It absolutely rocks. Its been the centre of power since 13'th Centuary and its my home.

Diwali - The Festival of light came and went away. It was a Diwali of its own type - first Diwali out of home. First time when i felt time's passing me by. First time when i felt a need to slow down and think. Don't know why but my normal 'full throttle' mode has slipped into a slow drive through the deep forests of thoughtfulness which is not what I'm enjoying or hating for that matter but secretly enjoying. Sunday did some window shopping. Got old navy Flip Flops and Pierre Cardin pj's.

Monday was pretty calm - Came back home by 6.15 and watched 'Enron - The smartest guys in the room'. Somehow i don't like the hardships of life. The grimness, the coldness gets on to me like a leach and blows me off. :-) No pun intended. Hence the reason i never watched any madhur bhandarkar's movies.

Started new book 'Scar Tissue - Anthony keidis' - Liked the introduction. I hope to learn enough slang's for Drugs which would allow me to act as a conduit if my profession fails me someday.

Yawnnnn...Sleep Mode has just kicked in.

The name's Vivhan

2006-10-21T14:44:00.000-07:00

Vivhan - The a synonym for 'Lord Krishna' as per say and thats the name of the new born.

Ooh Ladies i forgot to mention..

2006-10-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

Stay Away from Khuswant Singh's Books.

Especially 'Delhi' - The Guy's simply obscenely creative. I knew for sure that he write's erotica intermixed with matter but the guy is freaking amazingly creative when it comes to some matters related to 'wind'. Need i say more.

Ladies Stay Away - Don't Say i never mentioned.
Guys - Get this book now. ASAP;

The Day Yesterday and The one Following it

2006-10-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

Been Pretty much a normal day in all aspects the only difference being that i was on 'time'. On time for bath, On time for breakfast, On time for Work, On time for Getting off Work, On Time for food, On time for Movie with food and now on time for blogging. Some thing's Changed. period.

Just saw 'Jar Head' - Movie closely associated with the hollowness of war what a soldier has to deal with when he comes back home after spending 8-9 months in the dessert without firing a shot. Loved the Last Line - 'Its a Dessert and We are still in it'. Else wise the movie's same ol Run of the mill - Iraq sucks and Uncle Sam Rules - But there were no hero's like the 3 Kings or Black Hawk Down or Saving Private Ryan or Wind talkers - I really do watch war movies.

Yesterday was equally entertaining - Watched 'Eight Below' along with Rogan Josh cooked at home by George. Btw for people whom i haven't introduced George - Meet George Ed. My New Flat mate - British Settled in Canada After travelling across the Globe. That's Enuf. He' s a Flat mate not a soul mate. We discuss a lot of work related stuff every day now.

Am i turning into a house wife - huh - a House wife - Then how could i forget to tell you till now - Go n visit my food log - Made Yellow Dal. Talk to u Later./

Casanova

2006-10-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

Looking in your eyes is not an act

Honey it is a well thought fact

Asking you about ur day is not a way for me to make my hay

Its what my father taught me while his hair got grey

Me checking you out is not a measure of my clout

its a sign of my interest in you just starting to sprout

Not talking abt you in front of my friends is not respect

its just a way to keep some women only my aspects

Girl i'm not the one who would stay

coz dogs are made by nature to play and then stray

I'm not the one who would make a promise a life and break a heart

but yes i'm certainly the one whose gonna drive u hard till the very last

I'm love!! a critic of beauty and this all is just a duty

These all are not my tactics babe i'm just a romantic

Chacha Again !!

2006-10-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

Yippee Thats true - Another 'Son of the Gun' has landed on the face of this earth.

I wonder what would happen of this new generation of puppies which are being raised in our house hold - They are gonna be the slickest smart asses ever to be born.

In shah allah - They shall carry the legacy of pranking, ass kicking and sharp toungues ahead.

Since its 2 now - gives me so many things to do or start planning for like:-

1) Have a mutt race - Both of them in their diapers - running for the milk bottle at the end of the line.
2) Me and my brothers would now have 2 targets with the football - jasraj would have company now.